Hope

Life goes on and needs hope. However, what kind of hope one holds, which determined by certain events, may just changed a second latter.

It was not at all easy for me last week, for I have just moved to a new place where I must use English all the time in communicating with room mates. Actually, it is not a bad thing, but using a different language in daily life may let me initially have difficulties in expressing emotion and making assumption of people I am communicating with.

Therefore, extra load is added to my study, which also made me a little sad. While this is happening, I considered I should buy flight ticket for going back to my hometown during summer holiday. After I have bought the ticket, I felt really happy. By finding another thing to do besides study and adapting to the new living place, I put some hope into it, so that what I lost in the study and the trivial life can find its place.

I become more and more sad when I realise that thinking about things that happen after about 4 months will not help me out of the dilemma I am now experience. So even the amount of hope I put into my going back to hometown becomes fragile.

Hope, like a spark in the darkness, is almost the only thing one may notice when having a hard time. It's addictive, but helpful even it is far away in the sky. So I am not struggling to get rid of the part I put in the getting back to China, but to have more in this semester.

(the photo used in the post, which is under CreativeCommons License, is shot by t-miki, )